Does feminine energy make you an anti-feminist pick-me?

I was inspired to write this after having a conversation with the amazing Samira (follow her dance page on Instagram @thepeachbum). The topic of femininity came up and what it means to be feminine and to embrace womanhood.

We all have masculine and feminine energy, regardless of the sex you were born and the gender you choose to identify with. Just like yin and yang, the energies merge within the same body in our own unique mix of duality influenced by how we were born and the circumstances that shaped us. The masculine in us chases, whereas the feminine in us receives. Sometimes we need to deliberately tap into our masculine energy, a blessing that doesn’t make us any less woman. All it means is different circumstances in life needs our energy to work in different ways.

Think of it as the left-brain vs right-brain dichotomy. Masculine and feminine energy is exactly the same, but on a spiritual and energetic level as opposed to a tangible biological level. This is all it is. You’re no less man, nor woman because you possess both energetic components.

I am a feminist. I love feminism, I love women’s rights and I love the foremothers who fought for me to have the freedom I currently do. I love that God has blessed me with masculine energy that makes me go and get what I want, hunt and chase and I love that God has given me feminine energy, which allows me to sit back, be present and get ready to receive. I love how I can switch between the energies at different times and I love how I am learning to accept these energies exist without viewing my feminine side as weak… anymore.

We are brainwashed to demonise the feminine

Before I get into this, abusive people, misogynists and gaslighters regularly try to use laws of energy to oppress women. What they do is throw them into gender roles and assume the woman, or the feminine is weak. They create myths that the feminine is emotionally unstable, fragile and incapable of leading, thinking or even working for herself.

One thing you see in such people is they are so out of touch with their own feminine energy that they have given up their God-given power to create, process and feel. They have such a rigid aura and so much trapped energy that they become bitter, overloaded, suppressed and toxic. Their hate for the feminine manifests into self-hate, because they are unable to embrace the part of themselves that nurtures, nourishes, receives and releases. Instead, they bury themselves in their egos and project their frustration on others.

When I talk about being brainwashed into demonising the feminine, I talk about my 18-year-old self who just started her degree in international politics and preferred to “sit with the men” during family gatherings because I looked down on “girly talk” about makeup. etc. Let’s unpack this very quickly.

Diana, 10 years ago, preferred to discuss politics because she was pursuing a degree in it. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that. The issue lies in baby Diana associating feminine talk with being weak and unintellectual. In order to feel respected, baby Diana had to disassociate herself from liking girly talk and had to chase approval instead of receive it because she already feels fulfilled from within and is comfortable with switching between her wide range of interests.

But is being feminine a pick me?

Absolutely not. Being feminine is all about receiving, loving and accepting who you are. Being a feminist is knowing your worth and the worth of everyone else to refuse to accept anything less than a healthy system. There’s no contradiction here.

The secret binding mechanism between femininity and feminism is: EXPRESSING BOUNDARIES.

When you have boundaries, you refuse to settle for less. You refuse to receive less than what you deserve because you know your worth. You know you are ethereal, kind, evolving and expanding the way the universe expands; you expect your surroundings to grow with you. You refuse to accept less than what you deserve and you let it go. You use your feelings to assess whether something is good for you or not and you cherish masculine energy as something that drives you forward, whether it comes as an intuitive inspired action from yourself, or whether it comes from someone else.

To me, those are feminist and feminine values. You’re feeling, receiving, knowing and allowing. At the same time, you set your standard to yourself, others around you and society and you honour all mechanisms that take you to where you need to get to go.

‘Feel your thoughts’

This sounds counter-intuitive, but the best thing to do is recognise your masculine energy and embrace it as a part of you. The more you fight it, the more it fights you. God gave us all access to the masculine and feminine for a reason. Trust that having a higher masculine and higher feminine is in your best interest. Thank your masculine energy for being there when you need it the most and lovingly set the intention to go on a journey to understand your inner feminine energy.

Intention is everything, remember.

We spent our whole lives being conditioned into thinking that femininity is weak and useless. Yes, epiphanies exist and people do instantly snap out of their limiting beliefs, but we need to accept that the universe is constantly expanding. We’re a part of the universe, which means we too are constantly expanding, so we must accept femininity as a part of our expansion journey.

A pivotal part of finding femininity is to feel. A therapist once gave me this piece of advice and it changed my life: feel your thoughts. I’m amazing at rationalising my thoughts, but I used to find it difficult to feel them. I practice this daily by unpicking a few thoughts and I try to ask myself about the emotions behind this thought.

So: “This coffee is amazing” turns into “this coffee feels so warm, comforting, energising and homely. I feel so happy when I drink coffee because it reminds me of Sunday mornings when my dad used to heat up milk and put a tiny bit of coffee in it when I used to throw tantrums because I wanted coffee at such an early age.”

“This outfit is cute” turns into “this outfit makes me feel so confident and happy. I love the colour black because I associate it with class and mystery.”

“This queue is so long” turns into “I am starting to feel very restless, bored and annoyed. This queue is so long.”

When you find yourself boiling up, or getting happy, or feeling some kind of an intense emotion, just ask yourself questions about it and quietly unpack.

Unblock dem chakras

I was recently listening to Sotoda Saifi’s self love school podcast and she has an episode on feminine energy and feeling. Half of the episode explains feminine energy in the charka system and the other half is a guided meditation. She made a very interesting point that the sacral, heart and third eye chakras are feminine energy centres in the body.

The sacral chakra is where creativity happens. The heart chakra is responsible for your heart centre and your feelings and your third eye chakra is responsible for your intuition. I’m giving a very quick run-down, and I can go into chakras in more depth in another post, but working on these chakras through crystal healing, sound baths, yoga and engaging with the energy centres really helps.

I made playlists of different healing sounds for each chakra that you can find here.

Work on your creativity, work on feeling your feelings and work on listening to your body and trusting yourself. Work on sharpening your intuition by learning to manage and calm anxiety. Each are connected to the three chakras mentioned above.

But like I said, that’s a different blog post for another day. I just wanted to introduce you all to the idea and I want to direct you to this awesome podcast episode.

Thank you all so much for reading. I love you all and I wish us all happiness, growth and healing.

Diana xoxoxoxox

Instagram: @flowerknafeh
Twitter: @superknafeh

Is meditating haram?

I remember when I first started awakening, I remember coming across meditating and hesitating at the thought. As a practicing Muslim, I pray five times a day. Through my prayers, I should be connected to God and reach the epitome of spirituality.

But anxiety crawled all over my body. I had no idea what inner peace felt like because my mind was on autopilot, thoughts unregulated and my ego (nafs) was

Let’s go to the Qur’an: “Indeed he succeeds who purifies his own self” (Surah 91 (Ash-Shams The Sun), Verse 9). Meditation is an exercise that helps you know, understand and purify yourself. When you sit and give yourself that gift of introspection, what you’re doing is tapping into the subconscious that records every bit of information you’ve taken in. We never forget, we only bury information. This is why you end up randomly remembering things from events that took place years ago that you haven’t thought about since it happened. Where’s the haram?

I’ve had people talk about them not needing to meditate because they have prayer. To me, that’s like saying you don’t need water because you have prayer. Each has a different purpose and the spiritual purpose of meditation is to work with your mind, work through your thoughts and understand yourself through the record of data that has been collecting our entire lives. We shut off our talking, egoic mind and we tap into the quieter mind that explains why we react the way we react.

Nowadays, many of us find it harder to mentally and spiritually commit to our prayers, even if we do all five, and then some. We were born and raised in a heightened state of capitalism. We grew up around computers and machines, fast food and having everything at our fingertips. Yes, living in the most digitalised era in human history yet has its perks, but it also means we’re functioning through basic physical needs and ego as opposed to feeling through higher states of being.

Meditating improves our concentration, it helps us enter within. Instead of thinking about what we want to “fix”, we slow down. We allow ourselves to process. We allow our mind to reorder and we tap into the deepest realms of our consciousness. We let go of worries, we let go of anxiety and we allow ourselves to just be. This is why when we’re stressed, we find it more difficult to focus on our prayer. We can’t just be, because there are so many things going through our head.

PS: I wrote an article on meditation tips here

The same way you can actually use the anxiety in prayer and pray through the anxiety by asking God for answers, we do it in our meditation practice and intend to release and trust that the answers will come. When you’re in a heightened state of being, you have access to parts of your subconscious mind that can explain. You’re not idolising your mind, you’re not praying to a different entity, all you’re doing is trying to get to know yourself better.

Guilt

From what I’ve seen by having discussions with many Muslims, they fear the guilt of potentially finding peace with meditation that they might not be able to access through prayer. Meditation is an exercise that helps you expand your perspective and tap into the energy of being closer to God because you’re not operating from anxiety. You’re training your mind. You’re connecting to your spirit and you’re by default bringing yourself closer to God.

You’ll find it easier to switch off and focus on your prayer when you’re praying. You’ll find it easier to be in the moment and have trust and faith that everything will be okay. Tawakkul is a much loved characteristic of the believer and it’s achieved when turning off your fight or flight and you enter into flow state.

You shouldn’t gaslight yourself or spiritually punish yourself if you can’t enter these stages. You shouldn’t normalise not being connected to your emotional and spiritual selfs. You should take steps to learn about yourself and connect to your intuition. You should have so much inner peace and your mind’s eye so clear that you are able to receive messages from God because you won’t be clouded by your anxiety.

Peace is a birthright. Happiness is a birthright. Manifestation is a birthright and it is all done by the will of our kind, benevolent Lord. Dua changes qadr, after all. Incorporate it into your spiritual wellbeing, work on turning off your fight or flight and allow yourself to receive the blessings of your Lord as you purify your soul with the intention of getting close to Him.

It’s our duty to tap out of the materialistic world. It’s our duty to meditate and enter flow state. You’ll find yourself accepting, receiving and perceiving from a place of love as opposed to anxiety. Your relationship with yourself will change, which will ultimately change your relationship with God.

Remember, He’s closer to us than our jugular vein. Your intention is everything. You’re not worshiping some deity or taking an alternative route to faith by meditating. Meditating is an exercise that has effects on your mind body and soul. Allow yourself to just be.

So, short answer: NO!

Wanting others to ‘awaken’ says more about us than them. Here’s why

Awakening is a funny concept.

Often, the journey to enlightenment comes after going through a particular trauma and studying to find life beyond your egoic self. You go on a deeper life mission to find out about yourself and the rest of the world, you realise the beauty in oneness and you seek to share it with the rest of the world because “oh my God! If my life is so much better, imagine how everyone else will feel when they hear about this!”

Then you realise the process of healing isn’t linear. You realise there’s a plethora of healing methods and coping mechanisms as you enter a phase of trial and error. You try to unlock the shadow self, which gets messy and painful. You manoeuvre around the mess trying to clear it whilst walking towards the light of your “true” self outside of the ego.

Then you start to make peace with life and its ebbs and flows. You begin to view things from a higher perspective, but allow yourself the space and time to allow your emotions to process how you’re feeling. In fact, your feelings become your priority and something you honour as opposed to something to suppress in a bid to achieve this utopia of rationalism that we were conned into buying.

Ahh, it feels so good! We’re free, we’re awake, we’re spirits with bodies and egos, but we’re no longer bound by the myth that they are all we are!

So why isn’t anyone else awakening? Why is everyone around me suffering and I’m not?

It’s frustrating, I know. You see people suffering and you want to snap them out of it so they can live their best lives.

The real question is: What does their lack of spiritual awareness represent to you and what does it say about your journey?

Let’s be real. Who even said your awakening is done? If your ego is telling you to pressure others, you’ve got some more digging to do. Not that it’s shameful, it’s human.

Life is a mirror. Everything around us that causes us to emotionally react has a root in how we view ourselves and how we view the world.

Don’t just ask yourself why you want said person to awaken. Start off simple. What does this person represent to you? What emotions do you feel when you think about them?

Write them down. Happiness, hopelessness, frustration, anger, your need for acceptance, your need to be loved, your need to fix people/things, etc etc.

You may, or may not see patterns right away. Meditate on them and continue to do soul searching work to figure out what these patterns are and where they came from. Every day, you observe and release. When the inclination to try to control another person’s awakening comes, observe it.

You may realise that yes, you do love this person, but they spend all their time judging you that you want them to awaken so you feel accepted. You may realise it’s a part of your martyr/saviour complex where you don’t feel worthy unless you attach your happiness to the happiness of someone else. The reasons and possibilities are endless.

Path of least resistance

One of the laws of the universe is the path of least resistance. This means energy is more likely flow in the direction where there’s lots of tension. It’s a pretty beautiful law, but it’s also amongst the reasons people stay in toxic cycles throughout their lives because so many of us are afraid of the unknown and don’t take kindly to change. So the path of change tenses up.

It’s hard to see our loved ones suffer, but when we force people to leave their natural spiritual route, we make them suffer more. A spiritual awakening should never come from an interventionist stance. It causes more resistance and those unawakened will continue their path because it has the least resistance.

Our energies are intertwined. When you see someone enjoying a dish at a restaurant and you become tempted to try it not because of the dish itself, but because of the emotional and energetic reaction it invoked.

So really, even stressing about someone else’s journey is toxic. You need to find what it is within you that is causing your body and spirit to tense up and let it go.

Situations are different. Of course, when someone is harming themselves or others, direct intervention is needed to actively stop someone from doing something dangerous. Matters of the spirit are different. The most you can do is show the that there is another way, make them feel safe and let them be. Seek to inspire through your inner glow as opposed to pressuring from your ego.

You’re all beautiful. Sending you all love

Instagram: @flowerknafeh
Twitter: @superknafeh

Too anxious to meditate? I got you. Here are some tips

Hello lovely people.

I’ve had some people ask me about mediation and visualisation. Last week, I tweeted that I managed to treat my PMS cramps with visualisation when I was tucked into bed and was too tired to get pain killers. Since then, people have been wondering how to tap into this energy themselves.

Honestly, I didn’t know I was capable of doing this. I practice yoga all the time and I love meditation and mindfulness. I also believe in the power of the mind as a mechanism of healing, but I didn’t think I was spiritually awakened enough to to see results of pain relief if I tried it at this so-called “stage” in my spiritual journey.

But here we are. God really showed me the power of my own mind right there.

Before I do a deep dive, I want you all to understand the difference between fight or flight and flow state. If you don’t understand this, you won’t understand mediation.

The ability to meditate is our birthright. Naturally, we find adventure in the unknown. We’re able to close our eyes, allow our bodies to fall into sync with our higher selfs and trust. The reason so many of us find it so difficult to meditate is because our fight or flight is perpetually on and we can’t reach flow state.

Living the lives we do, we’re conditioned to be in a perpetual state of anxiety. We always feel as though we have to defend ourselves from something. This is when our fight or flight is on. It’s supposed to be a temporary state to get us out of extreme danger. But in this day and age, it’s the default.

Naturally, our default is supposed to be flow state. Rather than fearing the unknown the way the human body, humans are supposed to find adventure in the unknown. As opposed to associating the unknown with anxiety, we are supposed associate it with peace and enjoyment. Naturally, we’re supposed to trust it as a process and trust in the benevolence of the destination.

So where does meditation come into the picture?

If you cannot enter flow state, you cannot meditate. If you find yourself in your state of anxiety/fight or flight, all you need to do is recognise it for what it is and observe it.

How does this feel? Which parts of my body are tensing up? Am I shaking anywhere? How fast am I breathing? What may be happening?

Approaching your anxiety with a sense of curiosity calms it. Focus on how your body is feeling and be aware of the sensations. When thoughts come through, simply be aware of them too. Don’t fight your thoughts because they will fight back. Let them sit. And breathe. They can’t defend themselves when you’re flushing them out with breath-work.

There are many breathing techniques out there. One of my former yoga teachers taught me the 4-7-8 breathing technique, which I used when I had anxiety.

Breathe in for four seconds, hold for second seconds, out for eight seconds. Repeat until you feel better.

Breathing is core to meditation.

When you focus on your breath, you’re focusing on the energy that is connecting your body to your soul, thus keeping you alive. You can simply meditate by closing your eyes and focusing on your breath.

You can also look up different meditations. In kundalini yoga, there’s a plethora of meditations we use (if you belong to a religious faith and you feel uncomfortable with some of the chants, you can omit them or do a different meditation).

If you want, I can make a list of different breathing techniques.

Okay, but how do we visualise?

I taught myself visualisation through using guided meditations. Look them up on YouTube, Spotify or even yoga/meditation websites and find videos for different occasions or feelings.

When I visualised my PMS cramps away, I put my hands on my belly and imagined a warm gold ball loosening my muscles just because I felt like it. I could have imagined a red ball, I could have imagined massaging hands, the only restriction was my mind.

The trick is, I entered flow state through my breath. This is where beginners may need help because they need to be guided into relaxation. I still use guided meditations when I can’t seem to relax, want a fresh visualisation or want to do a yogic meditation.

See it in your mind’s eye/third eye

You don’t have to, but you can also use your pineal gland. Close your eyes, breathe and focus your eyes between your eyebrows. This is a very powerful state because you’re opening your third eye chakra.

Use healing/relaxing sounds

If you want relaxing sounds in the background, but not necessarily a guided meditation, you can use healing frequencies. I made playlists for each chakra you can use. You can even use playlists to time your meditation.

Most importantly, don’t worry about the amount of time you meditate. Just do it. Even if it’s for a few minutes. Progress is key. The last thing you want to do is stress about a mechanism we use to intentionally help us relax, heal and manifest.

Good luck and don’t hesitate to contact me on my socials if you have any questions xox

Instagram: @flowerknafeh
Twitter: @superknafeh

Image by mohamed Hassan from Pixabay 

Navigating loss is hard, but here’s how we can make things easier

My recent loss was something I felt deeply. In practical terms, it wasn’t a real loss — it was a change in dynamic. That didn’t make it hurt less though.

I put myself in a situation where I had to be true to myself and ask myself what it was I wanted and if the situation in front of me added up. In many ways yes, but in many ways, no. I had to do the right thing and talk it out. It was a relief, but once it was over, I was overwhelmed with pain even though it wasn’t technically a big deal.

Usually, I do this very unhealthy thing of rationalising my emotions. This time, I honoured my emotions and felt them. These emotions aren’t a part of me, they’re simply visiting me. They need no rationale. They just need to be so I can let them go.

Don’t gaslight yourself

Honour your emotions. When it comes to feelings, rationalising can help, but it can also destroy. Rationalising may help you understand why you feel how you feel, but it can be your inner gaslighting tool.

A rule of thumb is if you’re making yourself feel worse, you’re not doing the rationalising properly. If you’re learning about why you’re feeling how you’re feeling whilst still processing, you’re doing it right.

What is gaslighting though? It’s a manipulative tool that makes you doubt your experience and sanity. You know when someone makes you feel a certain way and you express it to them and they blame you for feeling the way you’re feeling? Or they make you think you’re crazy? We can very well do this to ourselves by denying our right to our emotions.

Examples?

So, imagine you’re friends with someone and they’re moving to another city that’s an hour away. You know deep down you’ll see each other all the time, but you’re still feeling a huge sense of sadness and loss.

Honouring your feelings will sound like this:

“I know it may not make sense, but my heart has chosen to react like this and I’m going to allow it to go through this. If I need to cry, I will. There’s a reason I’m feeling this emotion more intensely than I thought I am but that’s okay.”

Self-gaslighting will sound like this:

“Wallah it’s not that deep. I’m being silly, I shouldn’t be feeling like this. This person is only an hour away and I’m clearly being stupid. I’m just going to take my mind off this whole situation because I can’t be a weak little sh*t and start crying.”

It’s okay to feel how you want to feel and it’s okay to honour your feelings. Sometimes, these feelings come from our subconscious making links to our past that we have forgotten about. Maybe it’s a symptom of borderline personality disorder, a condition which heightens our emotions. There are so many reasons.

Let through and let go

The only real way you can actually let go of your emotions is to let them pass through. It sucks feeling the pain of loss, sadness, uncertainty and a break in what became your new norm, but these feelings must be felt.

If you bottle them up, you will break down. It may feel like your world is crashing down at the time of letting your emotions passing through, especially if you haven’t done any shadow work prior to understand childhood triggers, but that’s a sign to go on a soul-searching mission. Start small by allowing your emotions to pass through. The cloud will pass and you will start to see the light.

Then in baby steps, continue and keep log. Revisit your emotions and understand your triggers. I know loss is a feeling I feel very intensely because as a child, I had a phobia of my parents leaving me at school. That’s the furthest I can consciously remember. Just knowing this has helped me understand myself so much more.

I feel better now. Stay blessed.

God bless xoxoxox

RESOURCE: Chakra and Healing Sounds Playlists

Peace, my loves!

Yes, I know it has been a while.

Yes, I know I always start with this but trying to blog once a week was too much. It seemed like a chore and I wanted to focus more on my @flowerknafeh Instagram blog instead. Despite doing all of that, my heart truly finds peace when writing. I feel happy to be back here.

Yesterday evening, I was at an event hosted by @seedsofsalma where we spoke about energy, chakra, consciousness and Islam all in one. It was amazing to be in a space with fellow Muslim girls who also subscribe to ancient energy science. I took a lot of time to process the energy work I was doing and didn’t really like talking about it because I felt as though I knew too little. Now that I’m coming out of this period of introspect, I want to share a resource I was working on for a while: Chakra playlists and sound healing frequencies.

I’m still learning about the power of these frequencies, I’ll write more about them, but I have been working on different playlists for each chakra that I wanted to share with you all.

Root Chakra

Sacral Chakra

Solar Plexus Chakra

Heart Chakra

Throat Chakra

Third Eye Chakra

Crown Chakra

Here are some other meditative playlists that I have:

Meditations and misc

Affirmations for self love

Affirmations for healthy relationships

That’s all so far! I’ll add more as I continue to make more. Peace and love! xox

Why asking ‘why’ will get you what you want

Those who know me know I’m a serious believer in the fact that our spirituality is paramount to manifesting our external experiences. I’m consistently talking about manifesting, energy, kundalini, etc but at the same time when I’m alone or with my closest friends, my overthinking can go into overdrive.

Even though I know I shouldn’t, when I’m attached to an outcome, I go crazy with overthinking. I find it hard to calm my mind – this is especially the case in social situations. At times, if I’m expecting a very important call, I obsess about it until I’m forced to forget about it. The moment I go about with my day because I get busy is usually when I get the call. This happened to me with a parcel I was expecting recently and oh my God!

Even though I’m well versed about these laws of life and I’m very in tune with my spirituality, I’m human. But to get what I want, it means I need to not fight, but manure around my thoughts. One way to do this is to ask myself: why.

Think about it this way: when a thought sprouts, we grow it by answering one of these six questions: Who? What? Where? When? Why? How?

Say you’re trying to manifest a certain amount of money and you find yourself getting anxious over it, you tend to get anxious over when it will come to you, who will give it to you, where it will come from, how it will come to you and what the process of this money will look like.

By answering these five questions, you’re wasting your energy on the outcome. You’re entertaining your anxiety and you start overthinking which goes against the laws of the universe. The more you stress about something, the more you block it from coming into you.

So when you want to entertain a certain thought, what’s the best thing to do? Ask why.

Why do I want this money? Why do I want to do ____ with this money? Why will it make me feel good? Why do I want to feel good?

Then you can enter the what’s and who’s sporadically if it serves the exercise by asking stuff like: what will this make me feel?

The point of this is to take your mind away from the process of things happening – they tend to just happen in weird ways. I got my first journalism job after I was crushed when Al Jazeera (yooooo guys no hard feelings – God had a plan for me) rejected my internship application. Yes, I wanted to work for Al Jazeera but I wanted to work for them because I wanted to work in a Middle East journalism and I wanted to be free about being pro-Palestine affffff.

I didn’t get Al Jazeera, but I got a different job and that led me to working in a pro-Palestine news outlet and I got to write about Middle East everything. The what, who and how, when and where didn’t work out, but the why did. Eventually.

I wanted to make a difference with this blog, but last year, it was going on a completely different path. I had a very long period of writer’s block and I was very frustrated that I couldn’t write. Then, I changed. My inspiration changed and my vision for the blog changed because of my life experience. Yeah, it’s different, but the “why” behind my intention of blogging, which is to help others and to hash out my own thoughts coherently has manifested. Just in a different direction.

Let go – faaackkking hate it

This essentially, is what letting go is. Don’t let go of the desire. Just let go of the outcome. The problem is, because everyone talks about it, it seems impossible and unattainable.

All you really need to do is get the tools to re-train your mind. This shit takes time so please don’t beat yourself up. First of all, you need to understand that you need to train and re-direct your mind and thoughts to get this peace. Set an intention and do it.

This is why it’s so important to observe your mind and thoughts. I read this all the time but earlier on, I used to observe my thoughts and shrug.

“Okay, whatever I am observing me being an anxious wreck what the hell now ya flipping books/youtubers/etc???”

The thing that many forget to tell you is that when you observe, you need to do it with an aim. Allow the negative energy to pass through you but then you need to use the model of “who, what, when, where, why and how” to organise your thoughts and see what exactly is the source of the anxiety.

So, you could be anxious about timing, or a specific person, it could be you believe it’s unattainable. It could be anything. Then go in and thank the thought because it’s coming from your ego and as much as we like to demonise it, without it, we would be dead. A certain amount of fear is healthy after all.

After you thank it, you can either speak to the thought as if it’s a child and calm your mind down “I get you’re worried about ____ but this isn’t your job right now” or you can return to the original topic and instead of thinking about the outcome, you enter a state of flow by asking why you want what you want and continuing to ask why to each answer of each question.

When you do that, rather than attaching yourself to the outcome, you become in line with the emotion. That, along with a lot of conviction and patience is where you need to be for things to come into your life.

Guys, trust me, I know this is frustrating but we’re human. It’s easier said than done and I know this because I am still training my mind. Don’t give up though! xoxoxox