This is going to sound like one hell of a massive contradiction, but considering how life in itself is a massive contradiction, do contradictions really make us wrong?
It’s weird. We could really want something , yet when it comes to figuring out how to get there, our minds can sometimes become our worst enemy. We become so rash and try to find the easiest “quick fix” approach to dealing with our discontents. Sometimes there are no decisions that can be made to make rash ones, which could seem worse at some points. We just sit in a limbo state. Waiting. Our minds want to zoom up and take us out of this state we’re in, but nothing can be done.
The art of doing nothing
The concept of doing nothing has become almost like a lost art. Its cousin, laziness, only has as much to do with doing nothing as your own scale of laziness. If a friend was horrible to you for no reason and you choose to do nothing and ignore that person, you’re not being lazy – you’re taking yourself out of a situation which would lead to more fights and petty arguments.
If you’re taking a break from life to meditate, you’re not being lazy. You’re focusing on your mindfulness which will make you more productive. If you take “meditation breaks” during work outside of your break/lunch hours, you’re being lazy.
The major thrust behind doing nothing is realising that not everything is in our control. When we want something more than anything, desperately scrambling and stressing when you know your stress is counterproductive, you’re setting yourself up for failure. Yes, strive. Yes, allow yourself to feel stressed when things get really bad. We’re human. We’re allowed to stress and feel like shit. But when you’re doing something for the sake of doing something even though you know pretty damn well it may lead to nothing, sit down and just do nothing.
When I first read about the Law of Attraction, I honestly thought it was a load of bullshit. I didn’t understand how “raising your vibration” will lead you to having a better life. To me, it consisted of visualising and then letting go, so you have to pretend you have what you want but at the same time let go of the thought and forget about it? And then I was desperately trying to manifest something into my life so I was scrambling to read about it and practice it even though I didn’t believe in it but I had to do something and, ugh!!!
Really, the principle isn’t some new-age crap. It’s all about striving to get what you want, but not being emotionally attached to it and never thinking our happiness relies on getting what we want to manifest. Just know you’ll be okay – because it’s a universal fact. It’s also true that when we’re emotionally attached to a specific outcome, things don’t come to us because we don’t allow them to. We send out such negative vibes to God that even though he is all merciful, he asks us to show gratitude for us to give him more. We need to be thankful for what we have and okay with who we are. Nothing from our personal spheres, be it a person, a salary, etc will make us happier, because happiness comes from within.
The main principle of being counterintuitive is to relax. Just know things come and go. So do people. Usually, you find yourself in win-win situations. For example, if you’re speaking to someone and they suddenly ignore you, an urge that was socialised into you would be to salvage the conversation or the budding friendship, because one of our deep driving desires is companionship. It only makes sense to chase after people, no?
The counterintuitive approach, however, would be just allow that person to do their thing. If someone isn’t making an effort with you or is being toxic, put aside your innate desire for companionship and do what is best for you. The person will either stay away from you, saving you from yet more disappointments, or will come back and apologise.
We’re all taught to work hard to succeed, but as we all know, working yourself to the grave is not exactly the best idea, to say the least. So what should we do? Take breaks. That’s counterintuitive.
Same goes for wanting to be in a relationship. The quest to find someone is situated on finding another person, so surely, you would need to be on the look out and have your eyes open. Yes. Of course. But don’t forget to blink. And sleep.
When we are so fixated on finding someone, we lose ourselves, which makes it harder for people to find us. Let go and stop stressing. Trust that it will come to you.
It seems so heavy at times, but really, being counterintuitive all comes down to one thing: trust. Trusting God, trusting yourself and trusting the process. If you don’t trust yourself, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment.
Trust that you will get to your goals and they will come. The more you stress, the less connected you are to your inner being and to the world around you – which in turn means the further you are away.